the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
