I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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