how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
