All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this just has baby written all over it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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