the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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