We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
