He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
