wakey wakey hands off snakey
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
