I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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