but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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