Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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