hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
