And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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