Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
