Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
