I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
