it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
