just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
