$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
