The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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