I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
