just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
