Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
