Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
