every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
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