My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pants are for mortals
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