"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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