his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
