Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
