Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
