Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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