Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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