Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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