am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
