i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
