people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
