babies were throwing up all over the place
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
