Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
