he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
