you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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