I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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