the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
