i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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