I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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