Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
