is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
