my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
tell me about the fingering
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