The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
