Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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