Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
