It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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