now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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